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In Life/ Travel

How to Stay in Love on a Trip With Your Boyfriend

Back in February, my boyfriend and I took our very first trip together. It’s an exciting milestone in a new relationship. Like a trip to IKEA, if you survive a vacation together it can strengthen your bond. Here are my tips to help you stay in love.

Split up the planning process

Don’t be a dictator, let the boyfriend have a say in your plans. Unless he’s the organized one, in which case be a doll and help out. Planning a trip is stressful enough without worrying if your partner will enjoy it as well.

Compromise your itinerary

You’re excited about the trip and the places you’ll go, but remember that your partner is, too. In fact, he might be jazzed for entirely different reasons than you. While you’re still in the planning phase, you should each make a list of places you want to go and then compare the two. Make sure your final itinerary is pretty even between both your picks.  

Establish some boundaries

Some people think it’s a good idea to schedule some alone time on trips. I’m definitely not one of those people but I do think it’s a good idea to establish some ground rules on privacy. This all depends on your comfort level of course. No matter the relationship, I like to keep a nice level of secrecy when it comes to my bathroom time. Whether it’s grooming, showering, or doing your business, work something out so you can have comfortable privacy while staying on schedule.

Schedule date time

Sure, the entire vacation is like one long date but with so much activity, it’s easy to skip the romance. Schedule at least one dinner at a nice restaurant and drinks at a fancy cocktail bar. It’s the perfect time to check in on each other and a reminder to be grateful for the experience you’re sharing.

Split up responsibilities

Along with splitting up the planning of the vacation, share the responsibilities. Don’t let your partner be solely responsible for navigating a new city, you’ll be on the fastest route to resentment. Even if he’s more comfortable taking the reins, offer to help out. Alternatively, you can each manage a task you’re better at. In Mexico City, I was able to make use of my fluency in Spanish to handle talking with servers and Uber drivers. My boyfriend handled the task of mapping out our journeys.

Keep track of expenses

Agree on how you’ll be splitting up costs. It may not be easy for both partners to cover half of all the expenses, so come up with something that feels fair to both of you.

Get a glimpse into our romantic getaway.

In Life/ Travel

How To Survive A Trip With Your BFF

Traveling with your best friend can be an amazing experience for your friendship. You’ll take in new sights and cultures together that will strengthen your bond for a lifetime. Or at least it should. If the pressures of travel don’t destroy you. Here are some ways to ensure you and your friendship survive.

Respect boundaries

If the two of you are as thick as thieves this might not be an issue. If you’ve never spent this much time together, you’ll probably need to set some boundaries. Let your bestie know about your quiet hours, grooming habits, and anything else that could cause tensions. Your roommates or boyfriends have probably alerted you to these things along the way.

Be a good wingman

So you head out to a gay bar for the night and it’s possible either one of you could meet someone. Make sure you’re both cool with seeing where the night takes you. Your BFF may be expecting to bond over beverages while you’re set on chatting up a dandy daddy.  If you’re going home with someone, make sure not to abandon your pal completely. If he’s the one getting lucky, don’t be a spoilsport. In any case, be supportive of each other and stay safe. Let the each other know where you’ll be. Maybe even share your location. Technology these days.

Have plenty of heart to hearts

Travel is a great bonding experience and you’ll spend plenty of time wandering new streets together. Take advantage of this and get to know each other better. Be vulnerable and revealing, it’ll make your friendship stronger. Once you’re at home and in your own routines, you’ll hardly have the opportunity to share the same kinds of moments.

Take turns with photo duty

I’m super guilty of this. With a background in filmmaking, I’m uncomfortable with relinquishing the role of documentarian, which often leaves me with memories of my travel companion enjoying himself. And no visual reminders that I enjoyed a seaside afternoon as well. If you’re as particular as me, take a reference photo and then ask your friend to imitate it for you.

Share responsibilities

Be equal partners along the journey. Even if your bestie is better at planning, offer to help out or take on something he’s weaker at. Make sure you’re clear on expenses and split costs equitably.

Have patience

You’re bound to get on each other’s last nerve, especially when travel plans go wrong. Be patient, this is your best friend and you’d kill for them. Remember that. Plus, all the feelings are probably mutual. Let it go and remember to have fun.

Check out some memories from my previous BFF vacays in Spain and the Pacific Northwest. It’s okay to get the feels.

In Life/ Video

A Look at the Queer Dance Freakout at the Texas Governor’s Mansion

While we have made strides in achieving equality, there is a segment of the LGBTQ community that remains severely disadvantaged. We must stay active and not become complacent in our victories. 

“Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.”As members of the LGBTQ community, it’s important for us to stand up for the vulnerable. In this case, we need to speak up for the rights of trans youth.

In the Texas legislature, the Republican majority has set its sights on passing a bathroom bill similar to the one in North Carolina.

A raging queer dance party was thrown at the governor’s mansion to protest this discriminatory legislation. The idea of dancing for a cause may seem ridiculous, but visibility is extremely important. Essentially, the purpose behind these bills is to discourage trans people from being a part of public life. If you can’t be guaranteed access to basic facilities, you’re less likely to enter public spaces. No one’s going back in the closet, y’all.

Not only that, but in times like these we need moments of levity to fuel the resistance.

The Queer Dance Freakout has been one of my favorite protest moments so far. For a night, we came together as a community with our allies to have a good time and show our detractors that we exist and we won’t be ignored.

If you’re a Texan, be sure to contact your state representative and tell them to Flush the Bill. Even if you’re not a Texan, contact your representatives and tell them you support trans rights.