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In Travel

How to Stay Friends on Your Gaycation

Going on vacation is always better when you’re rolling with your gaggle of gays. I like to think of myself as an expert traveler, so here are my tips for keeping your friendships intact on a group excursion.

Be free

Keeping your crew together at all times is impossible. With a large group, remember that everyone will have different priorities and interests. The shower show at the local gay bar might not be everyone’s cup of tea. Be flexible and understanding. Don’t be a drag by insisting that everybody stay together.

Make some solid plans

Of course you should definitely schedule a few group activities, though. Before setting out on your trip, agree as a whole on a few things that everyone can get into. Even if it just means making a dinner reservation for the entire group. And you’ll want to make reservations to avoid waiting on a table for five on a busy Saturday night.

Leave no man behind

It’s easy to get distracted in a group setting, but always make sure everyone is accounted for. Nothing makes someone feel more left out than being forgotten when the group heads out. Make an agreement with your bestie to always keep track of each other.

Count it out

The easiest way to ruin a good vacation is squabbling over costs. If you can agree to split costs more or less evenly, you can simplify by taking turns covering payments and settling up at the end of the trip. Lay out the rules from the beginning and get ready to play the Splitwise game. Pro tip: Input your expenses immediately so you don’t forget and you tag the appropriate people.

Get personal

Even though you’re in a group setting, it’s important to get personal with all of your friends individually. I like to make sure I sit next to a different person at every meal or gathering. During down time, I’ll choose a different friend to hang out with. The worst feeling is getting home from a group trip and feeling like you barely even spoke to a friend you rarely see.

Communicate

Before setting out on your adventure, set up a group chat and hype each other up. It’ll heighten your excitement and bring the gang together emotionally before you’ve even arrived. It’ll also be super convenient for communicating while you’re traveling. While you’re at it, create a shared album and upload your pics throughout the trip.

Need some inspiration for your next big gaycation? Check out videos from my own group trips to Provincetown and Marfa, TX.

In Life/ Travel

How to Stay in Love on a Trip With Your Boyfriend

Back in February, my boyfriend and I took our very first trip together. It’s an exciting milestone in a new relationship. Like a trip to IKEA, if you survive a vacation together it can strengthen your bond. Here are my tips to help you stay in love.

Split up the planning process

Don’t be a dictator, let the boyfriend have a say in your plans. Unless he’s the organized one, in which case be a doll and help out. Planning a trip is stressful enough without worrying if your partner will enjoy it as well.

Compromise your itinerary

You’re excited about the trip and the places you’ll go, but remember that your partner is, too. In fact, he might be jazzed for entirely different reasons than you. While you’re still in the planning phase, you should each make a list of places you want to go and then compare the two. Make sure your final itinerary is pretty even between both your picks.  

Establish some boundaries

Some people think it’s a good idea to schedule some alone time on trips. I’m definitely not one of those people but I do think it’s a good idea to establish some ground rules on privacy. This all depends on your comfort level of course. No matter the relationship, I like to keep a nice level of secrecy when it comes to my bathroom time. Whether it’s grooming, showering, or doing your business, work something out so you can have comfortable privacy while staying on schedule.

Schedule date time

Sure, the entire vacation is like one long date but with so much activity, it’s easy to skip the romance. Schedule at least one dinner at a nice restaurant and drinks at a fancy cocktail bar. It’s the perfect time to check in on each other and a reminder to be grateful for the experience you’re sharing.

Split up responsibilities

Along with splitting up the planning of the vacation, share the responsibilities. Don’t let your partner be solely responsible for navigating a new city, you’ll be on the fastest route to resentment. Even if he’s more comfortable taking the reins, offer to help out. Alternatively, you can each manage a task you’re better at. In Mexico City, I was able to make use of my fluency in Spanish to handle talking with servers and Uber drivers. My boyfriend handled the task of mapping out our journeys.

Keep track of expenses

Agree on how you’ll be splitting up costs. It may not be easy for both partners to cover half of all the expenses, so come up with something that feels fair to both of you.

Get a glimpse into our romantic getaway.

In Life/ Travel

How To Survive A Trip With Your BFF

Traveling with your best friend can be an amazing experience for your friendship. You’ll take in new sights and cultures together that will strengthen your bond for a lifetime. Or at least it should. If the pressures of travel don’t destroy you. Here are some ways to ensure you and your friendship survive.

Respect boundaries

If the two of you are as thick as thieves this might not be an issue. If you’ve never spent this much time together, you’ll probably need to set some boundaries. Let your bestie know about your quiet hours, grooming habits, and anything else that could cause tensions. Your roommates or boyfriends have probably alerted you to these things along the way.

Be a good wingman

So you head out to a gay bar for the night and it’s possible either one of you could meet someone. Make sure you’re both cool with seeing where the night takes you. Your BFF may be expecting to bond over beverages while you’re set on chatting up a dandy daddy.  If you’re going home with someone, make sure not to abandon your pal completely. If he’s the one getting lucky, don’t be a spoilsport. In any case, be supportive of each other and stay safe. Let the each other know where you’ll be. Maybe even share your location. Technology these days.

Have plenty of heart to hearts

Travel is a great bonding experience and you’ll spend plenty of time wandering new streets together. Take advantage of this and get to know each other better. Be vulnerable and revealing, it’ll make your friendship stronger. Once you’re at home and in your own routines, you’ll hardly have the opportunity to share the same kinds of moments.

Take turns with photo duty

I’m super guilty of this. With a background in filmmaking, I’m uncomfortable with relinquishing the role of documentarian, which often leaves me with memories of my travel companion enjoying himself. And no visual reminders that I enjoyed a seaside afternoon as well. If you’re as particular as me, take a reference photo and then ask your friend to imitate it for you.

Share responsibilities

Be equal partners along the journey. Even if your bestie is better at planning, offer to help out or take on something he’s weaker at. Make sure you’re clear on expenses and split costs equitably.

Have patience

You’re bound to get on each other’s last nerve, especially when travel plans go wrong. Be patient, this is your best friend and you’d kill for them. Remember that. Plus, all the feelings are probably mutual. Let it go and remember to have fun.

Check out some memories from my previous BFF vacays in Spain and the Pacific Northwest. It’s okay to get the feels.

In Travel

Exploring Mexico City: The Best Nightlife, Culture, and Queer Hangouts

Mexico City LGBTQ+ Travel Guide

I’ve dreamed of visiting Mexico City since I was a kid and it blows my mind that I’ve waited so long to make a trip there. MXCD is the perfect weekend trip. From Austin it was a quick 90 minute flight and a 3 night trip won’t even make a dent in your wallet. It’s got tons of museums, art, and is the right mix of glamor and grit. Here’s everything you need to know to have a gay old time.


Where to Stay

All the cool kids are staying in La Condesa, Roma Norte, or Roma Sur. I stayed in a trendy apartment between Condesa and Roma Norte. It was the perfect spot close to shops, restaurants, and parks.

Eats

Veguisima – This was the first restaurant we hit when we arrived in the city. We set out to explore and stumbled upon this tiny spot. I was halfway through my tostada before I realized everything we ordered was vegan.

Bravo Loncheria – I had plenty of amazing meals in Mexico but this was by far my favorite. When my chorizo chicken sandwich arrived, I was confused about how to eat it without utensils. It was so messy with chorizo spilling out. The server pointed to the box of plastic gloves on the table. It made for adventurous meal. I also fell in love with the soundtrack of classic American hits covered in Spanish.

Lalo – If you’ve done any research, Lalo is already on your list of restaurants. It’s super trendy and full of Americans. Their Instagram-worthy mural doesn’t hurt either. Expect a wait since most seating is at a long communal table or small bistro tables along the wall.

Azul Historico – This restaurant is all outdoor in a cool courtyard surrounded by shops. The menu features cuisine from Veracruz and is the perfect lunch spot if you’re out in the downtown area.

Drinks

Hanky Panky Bar – Hanky Panky Bar is definitely one of the most incredible experiences I’ve ever had. This is a true speakeasy with a secret location. To get in, make a reservation by messaging the bar on Facebook. They’ll give you some general location information and it’s up to you to find the exact spot. #NoSpoilers but we exited the bar through a fridge.

La Nuclear – This is a boisterous dive bar that serves pulque. Pulque is a creamy alcoholic drink made from the maguey plant and comes in a few different flavors. We tried piñon and piña colada. You should definitely stop in for one.

Cabaretito Fusion – When we set out for the gay bars, I was adamant that we go to a cumbia club. I grew up dancing cumbia and seeing gay couples dancing cumbia was a dream to me. There are two main rooms here, the smaller front room plays cumbia while the larger back room plays top 40 hits. If you want to fit in, most people are drinking 40s of Indio or a cocktail in a large styrofoam cup with red sauce on the rim (maybe chamoy?). Entrance is 70 pesos and comes with one beer ticket.

Tom’s Leather Bar – I hope it’s no secret that I love goth. Tom’s was described on many blogs as actually a gay goth bar and not your typical leather bar. You can’t even imagine how much this thrilled me. I built a whole night of bar hopping around getting to Tom’s at what I estimated would be the busiest. Little did I know, it’s just a leather bar. Like really a leather bar. About 75% of the space is dark room. Entry is 185 pesos and comes with 2 drink tickets.

Kinky Bar – We were about to call it a night when we decided to hit one last bar. Kinky Bar is definitely more like your typical gay bar and probably my favorite. There are two floors with the first being split between karaoke rooms and a dance floor with more traditional Mexican music. The second floor plays standard dance music and top 40 hits. Oh, and expect some of the most beautiful bartenders you’ve ever seen. Entry is 60 pesos but sadly comes with no drinks. 

Sights

Historical Sites – El Palacio Nacional, Templo Mayor, Zocalo, Catedral Metropolitana – These sites are all essentially in the same block. I highly recommend Templo Mayor and the palace. Get there as early as you can. We arrived before noon and had no problem getting in but leaving was like being in a herd of cattle.

Teotihuacan – Take a nice day trip to climb some pyramids. You can take the subway to the Autobuses del Norte station and be there in about an hour. It’s pretty fun and you can see all of the pyramids plus the museum in about 3 hours.

Museo Jumex – There are so many museums in Mexico City that it’s impossible to see them all in one weekend. We stopped into the Jumex collection because it’s slightly on the smaller side and was easy to squeeze into our day.

Biblioteca Vasconcelos – This library is one of the most Instagrammable places I’ve ever been. We popped in for a quick walk around and took a few photos but you might like to wander upstairs and read for a bit.


Museo Frida Kahlo –


I’ve already got flight alerts set up so I can make a quick getaway to Mexico City any weekend.

See the Gays & Confused Travel Guides to discover more queer friendly travel tips.

In Travel/ Video

Desert Life in Marfa, TX

These days it seems all I do is travel. Most trips involve carefully curated itineraries and cramming all the sights, food, and adventure into a few days.

Every now and then I’m more than pleased to take an actually relaxing trip. Earlier this year, my friends and I rented a house in Marfa, TX (one of my absolute favorite spots) to unwind. We roamed the desert, played board games, and built a fort in our living room. It was a great time to reconnect and enjoy each other’s company. Can’t wait for the next one.