Look, life is a lot. And if you’re a queer adult trying to balance work, relationships, joy, grief, and maybe even a houseplant or two—same. Over the years, I’ve built a few rituals and routines that help me manage my mental health in a real, sustainable way. Nothing perfect or prescriptive here—just what’s worked for me, in hopes it might help you too.
My morning routines
Creating daily rituals really helps me stay grounded and slow down a bit. I’m a heavy coffee drinker and it’s one of my favorite ways to start the day. I make pour over coffee every morning, which can be a bit of a slower and manual process. It’s a moment to breathe, reflect, and let the caffeine slowly summon my personality. While I’m drinking my first cup of coffee, I like to sit and journal for a few minutes. Sometimes I use prompts from a workbook, other times I just word-vomit into a freeform journal. Either way, getting my thoughts out on paper helps me clear my head and feel a little less like a browser with 87 tabs open.
Let’s get physical
While I would love to reveal that I wake up every morning at 4am, the truth is I’m not a morning person at all. Even waking up at 7am is a struggle. But I do my best to get some kind of movement in early-ish. It sets the tone for the day and gives me a chance to be fully in my body—not just in my feeds.
Spin classes or a boot camp are my fave because you have to be present. It’s 45 minutes of music, sweat, and forgetting about your to-do list. I do a lot of travel so in a pinch, a short walk or stretch session can do the trick. The goal isn’t perfection, it’s all about keeping movement a consistent part of my life.
Time with Rider
If you were following my dog Tripp on Instagram, I hope you’re now following my pup Rider on the gram and the clock app. My time with Tripp was very important to me and when he passed away, I was devastated but I knew that he lived a long life full of love. When Rider came into my life, I knew I wanted to be really intentional about our time together. Thankfully, I work remotely, so I build plenty of playtime into my schedule.
We do a long midday walk and another shorter one in the afternoon. It breaks up my day, gets me outside, and gives me something to look forward to. Plus, it’s truly calming having a dog curled up next to me while I work.
Entering the group chat
I’ve always leaned hard on my friendships—especially during tough times. Making friends as an adult in NYC isn’t always easy (even when you’re surrounded by 8 million people), but I’ve found a few solid groups I see regularly. Most of my friends are also queer and I think having a chosen family is vital. And in this day and age, I’m so grateful for the group chats with my friends who live all over the rest of the country.
Whether it’s a spontaneous hangout or sending 47 memes in a row, staying connected to my chosen family has been one of the most important and practical mental wellness tips for queer adults I’ve discovered.
Exploring sobriety
I love a good glass of wine or a very complicated cocktail. But I also love waking up without hangxiety and existential dread. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized alcohol doesn’t always vibe with my mental health. So lately, I’ve been experimenting with a more mindful approach to drinking.
It’s far-fetched to say I’m eliminating alcohol completely from my life. Instead, I’ve started limiting alcohol to one or two days a week and mixing in non-alcoholic and functional beverages. Even swapping one cocktail for a mocktail on a night out makes a difference. It’s all about allowing myself to enjoy the moment and still feel good the next day.
Getting creative
I’m a big fan of continuous discovery—whether that’s exploring a new neighborhood, hitting a museum, or trying something random like learning to DJ (yes, really). I’m especially obsessed with queer history walking tours, and with the weather warming up, you’ll definitely catch me out and about (follow along on TikTok if you’re into that kinda thing). I don’t see myself living in New York City forever, so I’m also determined to hit up as many sites as I can.
Giving myself time to explore and nurture my curiosity has become one of my favorite ways to protect my peace and reconnect with what makes me feel alive.
I’m no mental health pro but I hope these can function as practical mental wellness tips for queer adults and offer a little inspiration. In times like these—when the world feels especially heavy—queer joy isn’t just nice to have, it’s essential. Building small, supportive routines can help us not only cope, but also make space for joy, connection, and moments that feel genuinely good. What are the ways you protect your mental health? Let’s chat about it.
