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In Entertainment

#Quarantunes: Feel Good Beats to Lift Your Spirits

Ever since I started this blog I’ve been curating a monthly Spotify playlist to go with it. It’s a mix of fresh tracks and nostalgic tunes. While most people who curate regular playlists keep creating new ones, I refresh the existing playlist. Which I think is fun, especially for subscribers, to discover an all new vibe when you check in.

Initially I would post screenshots of the playlist along with a link but I’ve let that go for a while. During my quarantine downtime, I decided to bring that back as a reminder that the playlist is updated and as a record of the tunes I’ve curated in the past.

Spotify playlist - March 2020

This month, I’ve put together a collection of light disco tunes for living room dance parties. It’s gonna take a ton of dancing in my house to survive the wrath of Miss Rona. I’ve included plenty of my favorite artists like Kylie Minogue, Ximena Sariñana, and Christine and the Queens along with some viral hits like Doja Cat’s “Say So.” Your Smith and Peggy Gou are my favorite recent discoveries and I can’t wait to hear more from them.

You can always find the current playlist under the “Hot Jams” link on the homepage, on the side bar to the right on desktop, or in the footer on mobile.

In Life

Ways To Connect & Thrive With These Online LGBTQ Communities

Online LGBTQ communities

Let’s ignore the elephant in the room and say that you’re probably longing for some social interaction today, of all days. Regardless of any *cough* pandemics *cough* keeping you locked indoors and reflecting on your mental health for weeks at a time, it’s not unlikely for LGBTQs to face loneliness. It’s not like gay men are twice as likely to be depressed as straight men or 2.6 times as likely to live alone. If for some reason, you’re feeling disconnected or in need of friendship and community, don’t worry, the internet’s here for you. Here’s a list of online communities where everyone’s gay, too.


Slack icon - List of LGBTQ Slack communities to join

Slack Groups

Basically all of my career has been in tech, so I’m always on the hunt for LGBTQ networking groups. If you’re in tech, you know Slack is the tool du jour for the industry. Here are a couple of tech communities you can join on Slack.

LGBTQ in Tech

This community provides a space for LGBTQ people in technology to chat and support each other. Out of all the Slack groups I’m in, this one has the most channels definitely offering something for everyone. Aside from professional conversations, you’ll find channels devoted things like to beach goings, asmr, and Disney.

Out in Tech

This non-profit boasts over 30,000 members and 15 chapters across the country. They host networking and education events if you’re interested in learning more about a career in tech. Currently the group is hosting online events every night at 9pm ET/6pm PST. RSVP to join.

Techqueria*

This is one of my favorite communities, although it’s also not exclusively LGBTQ. This group for Latinxs in tech has been very active and inclusive in my experience. Their Slack community also has plenty of channels for almost every group and locale and does have an active LGBTQAI channel.

Chat icon - List of Online Forums for the LGBTQ community.

Online Forums

If you want to go into old school forums, these communities offer a place to discuss mental health and find support.

Trevorspace

I’ll be honest, it’s been a long time since I was a teenage queer, and while cultural attitudes have shifted, it’s still not always the easiest for young people to find their tribe. This community offers a space for young people between the ages of 13-24 to get advice and support, join groups based on their interests, and make new friends.

Empty Closets

This community offers a forum with ongoing discussions and chat rooms mostly for those in the process of coming out or working to build a solid support group of LGBTQ friends. The community originated in 2004 as a safe space for LGBTQ teens but now welcomes members of all ages.

Therapy Tribe

Research shows that LGBTQ individuals are at higher risk for depression, anxiety, and substance abuse. Whew. The LGBTribe offers peer-to-peer support groups for mental health issues and lets members participate in wellness challenges, access tools to help them on their journey, and connect with therapists.


Whether you’re suddenly seeking connection or you’ve always been social online, hopefully you’ll find yourself at home in one of these online communities. Already a member of an online community you love? Let me know! And if you see me in one of these groups, feel free to reach out!

In Entertainment/ Shop

Books I’m Reading This Year

Gays & Confused is reader-supported. When you buy through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission.

Oh look, a new year’s resolution post on someone’s blog. How novel. Speaking of novels, one of my goals this year is to read more books. I’m not going to set myself up for failure by attempting to tackle a book a month. I’m guilty of taking a full year to finish one book, so 12 would be just too impossible. I’m kicking off the year with the goal of reading 5 books. And don’t worry, I’m definitely already having an anxiety attack about it. And no, I didn’t forget that this is a queer focused blog, each book is written by an LGBTQ or female author. 

Her Body and Other Parties

I’ve read so much about this book and when I heard one of the stories being retold in a podcast, I couldn’t resist. I’ve already begun reading it and can’t put it down.

In Cold Blood

Truman Capote is an author whose work I’ve always wanted to explore. Over the holidays, my brother was telling me how much he loved reading this book and couldn’t recommend it more. He gifted me a copy and I can’t wait to read it.

Before Night Falls

Whenever I’m browsing books online, I frequently see Reinaldo Arenas’ memoir recommended to me. Clearly the internet gods know something about me. When I stumbled upon it at a bookstore sale, I knew I had to take it. TBH, it’s been  sitting on my bookshelf for over a year now. 2020, we’ll finally make it happen.

Trick Mirror: Reflections on Self-Delusion

Earlier this summer, I read Jia Tolentino’s “Losing Religion And Finding Ecstasy In Houston” in the New Yorker and I absolutely loved it. Her writing is incredible and I immediately forwarded it on to many of my friends. I’m officially a Jia stan and can’t wait to read more of her stories in this book. Plus, she’s a fellow Texan.

Imperial Bedrooms

While I’ve never read a Bret Easton Ellis novel, I’ve been a fan of the film adaptations of his books. That WASPy east coast 80s culture is a whole mood I love to immerse myself in. A few months ago, I found it at a bookstore’s sidewalk sale and picked it up. As a sequel to Less Than Zero, it’s possible I’ll be lost and end up revising my list to include that title. 

Interested in knowing how well I stick to this goal? Follow me on Twitter or Instagram, and I’ll keep you posted throughout the year and I’d be more than happy to chat about them!

In Life/ Shop

8 Ways To Spend Big At Small Queer Shops

The holiday season is upon us once again. Before you hit up Amazon for your one stop shopping, consider shopping smaller and queerer. I’m a huge believer in spending my money as wisely as possible to support the causes and communities I care most about. So here’s a list of places you can shop to support queer businesses.


Erdos + Ko

If you’re thinking of shopping a little bigger, Erdos + Ko Home offers beautiful home furnishings and decor at an approachable price point. With the belief that styling your home should be fun, John Erdos and Louis Koay offer pieces that they’d actually put in their own home. Erdos + Ko designs reflect their style using organic materials mixed with modern elements. You’ll also find curated vintage and one-of-a-kind pieces.


Double Scorpio VHS Cleaner

TBH, you can’t really kick off the holidays without digging out VHS copies of your favorite holiday films to relive your childhood memories. In an HD world, you’re  gonna need some VHS cleaner to make the most of the lo-fi vibes. Their holiday blend can also double as a festive room deodorizer. If you tossed the VCR decades ago, you’ll still appreciate their line of gear with edgy tees and cheeky jock straps.


Pansy Ass Ceramics

Have you ever wondered what family heirlooms would look like in a Tom of Finland theme? For the playful provocateur, Pansy Ass Ceramics offers plenty of erotic artwork and ceramic pieces to spice up your home decor. From penis shaped flower vases to BDSM themed Christmas ornaments, you’ll find tongue-in-cheek tchotchkes for your china cabinet.


Wildfang

Founded in 2013, Wildfang was created with the belief that women have the right to wear whatever they want. Their collections feature trendy graphic tees, the Empower Suit, durable workwear, and button ups for all with a portion of proceeds going to charity. In 2018, Wildfang raised over $400k for charities that support reproductive, immigrant, and women’s/human rights.


Otherwild

Otherwild is dedicated to showcasing goods made with care by individuals. You’ll find a huge variety of apparel, housewares, and more. Their line Otherwild General offers non-disposable, lo/zero-waste and upcycled product options like reuseable straws and refillable home, body, and bath products.


MINNA

Founded by a queer woman, MINNA offers a collection of beautiful, ethically made products created in collaboration with with master artisans in Central and South America. The patterns, colors, and textures found in their products are meant to be mixed, matched, and layered for today’s modern home.


Autostraddle

The online publication and community for queer women is not only a great place to find feminist think pieces but you can also find clever tees and caps. Additionally, buying merch from Autostraddle helps support the stories they feature on their site.


HOMOCO

No doubt you’ve discovered HOMOCO on your social feeds with their colorful collection of versatile tops and power bottoms. The queer swim brand makes their trunks out of recycled plastic while their camp shirts come from sustainably harvested Tencel. A portion of sales goes to ocean conservation and organizations that champion queer rights.


What queer businesses do you love shopping at? Share them with me!

In Life

Free Lessons in LGBTQ History From These Twitter and Instagram Accounts

Raise your hand if you’re endlessly interested in history but easily exhausted by reading. C’mon, I cannot be the only one. Luckily, there’s a crop of Instagram and Twitter accounts sharing historical photos, stories, and resources in bite size doses perfect for afternoon scroll sessions. Here are a few of my favorite Twitter and Instagram accounts to follow to learn more about LGBTQ history.

Making Gay History

I’ve talked about Eric Marcus’ podcast Making Gay History on the blog before, but you can also follow along on Instagram for even more historical moments. You’ll get bitesize clips from the interviews featured in his podcast along with extra photos and even more stories. 

The History Project

The History Project is an organization that’s working to document, preserve, and share the history of the LGBTQ community in the Boston area. Aside from history lessons in 280 characters, their Twitter account shares interesting articles and updates about their ongoing work and events. They also maintain a collection of over 1 million documents including photos, buttons, and publications that you can often get a peek at.

NYC LGBT HistoricSites Project

Exploring NYC’s famous and historic sites is one of my favorite things to do in the city. I especially appreciate it coming from a much younger city like Austin. The NYC LGBT HistoricSites Project is one of my favorite Instagram accounts to follow. It’s always fun to see old photos of the places I pass each day and learn more about important events that have happened there. You can even take your explorations further and follow along on their curated tours available on their website.

Queer as Fact

Queer as Fact is another history podcast that takes things a step further with their Twitter account. Get a deeper dive into episodes and discover the resources they use for research.

lgbt_history

Matthew Riemer and Leighton Brown, the authors behind the history book We Are Everywhere, also curate this Instagram account with short history lessons and old photos.

LGBTQCollaboratory

The LGBTQ Collaboratory connects scholars, activists, and archives across Canada, the US, and the UK. Follow them on Twitter for more behind the scenes info, updates on events, and connections to other LGBTQ historians.

h_e_r_s_t_o_r_y

From pop culture to high art, @h_e_r_s_t_o_r_y is a fun account that features old photos, publications, and gay rights movement memorabilia. The account’s founder, Kelly Rakowski, is also behind the new personals style dating app, Lex that I’ve featured on the blog before.

Queer Bible

Queer Bible features original essays and artwork from inspiring LGBTQ+ people that celebrate their LGBTQ+ heroes. While the Instagram gives you short snippets and a visual overview of the work, their website provides longer form pieces and deeper dives into these stories.

I love discovering new accounts that can take me beyond #ads and thirst traps, which are your favorites to learn more online? Tweet me and let me know!