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Cheers, Queers: 4 Non-Alcoholic LGBTQ+ Beverage Brands to Try Now

Raise an alcohol-free glass!

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Wake Up with Pride: Queer-Owned Coffee Brands You’ll Love

From bold brews to empowering missions, explore queer-owned coffee brands.

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A Weekend in Madrid: The Ultimate Queer-Friendly Travel Guide

Get ready for some unforgettable bites, sights, and nightlife! 💃

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Slacktivists of the World: Support the Cause, Add to Cart!

5 LGBTQ+ organizations to support by shopping.

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7 LGBTQ+ Mobile Apps For a Better Life

There's an app for that.

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In Entertainment

Queens In The Time Of Corona: Drag Shows You Can Watch Online

In spite of the plethora of coronavirus memes circulating on the interwebs, quarantine life can be extremely difficult for so many of us. Self isolating, economic uncertainty, and concerns about the virus’ potentially serious health effects can all be too much to deal with. As queer people, we often find our community and a space to express ourselves at gay bars or Pride celebrations. The absence of those spaces can intensify mental health issues. A survey by Queer Voices Heard found that 57% of LGBTQ people believe their lives will be worse off in six months because of the coronavirus. A few weeks of trying to flatten the curve has already taken a huge economic toll on the service industry and the nightlife performers we know and love. 

Sorry to be a Debbie Downer but it’s not all doom and gloom! We can still enjoy performances by some of our favorite drag queens and continue to support them. Every week, drag performers are going live and finding innovative ways to make the most of performing on mobile screens. Here are a few online drag shows you can tune into every week.

Biqtch Puddin’s #DIGITALDRAGSHOW

When: Fridays at 10pm EDT
Where: twitch.tv/biqtchpuddin

La Queerantine

When: Daily shows Wednesday – Saturday at 4pm EDT
Where: Instagram Live – @laqueerantine

Drag Queen Story Hour

When: See Facebook page for schedule
Where: Facebook Live or Instagram Live

PEG Presents: Digital Drag Fest

When: March 27 – April 30 see performance schedule
Where: Stageit

Drag Aerobics

When: Every Wednesday at 3:30pm EDT
Where: Facebook Live or Instagram Live – @dollytrolleydrag

Club Q

When: Every night at 9:00pm EDT, Saturdays at 6:00pm EDT
Where: Zoom, see Instagram bio (@clubquarantine) for password

Hopefully there are still plenty of gay bars and individual queens firing up our notifications with shows of their own. If your favorite drag queen is going live, please let me know! I’d love to tune in and start a more active list on Twitter and Instagram. If you don’t see your favorite queen performing online, you can always show your support by donating to them directly. Queerantine.Me has an ongoing list of Venmo/CashApp/PayPal accounts for your local LGBTQ bar staff and drag performers.

April 6, 2020
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In Entertainment

#Quarantunes: Feel Good Beats to Lift Your Spirits

Ever since I started this blog I’ve been curating a monthly Spotify playlist to go with it. It’s a mix of fresh tracks and nostalgic tunes. While most people who curate regular playlists keep creating new ones, I refresh the existing playlist. Which I think is fun, especially for subscribers, to discover an all new vibe when you check in.

Initially I would post screenshots of the playlist along with a link but I’ve let that go for a while. During my quarantine downtime, I decided to bring that back as a reminder that the playlist is updated and as a record of the tunes I’ve curated in the past.

Spotify playlist - March 2020

This month, I’ve put together a collection of light disco tunes for living room dance parties. It’s gonna take a ton of dancing in my house to survive the wrath of Miss Rona. I’ve included plenty of my favorite artists like Kylie Minogue, Ximena Sariñana, and Christine and the Queens along with some viral hits like Doja Cat’s “Say So.” Your Smith and Peggy Gou are my favorite recent discoveries and I can’t wait to hear more from them.

You can always find the current playlist under the “Hot Jams” link on the homepage, on the side bar to the right on desktop, or in the footer on mobile.

March 25, 2020
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In Life

Ways To Connect & Thrive With These Online LGBTQ Communities

Online LGBTQ communities

Let’s ignore the elephant in the room and say that you’re probably longing for some social interaction today, of all days. Regardless of any *cough* pandemics *cough* keeping you locked indoors and reflecting on your mental health for weeks at a time, it’s not unlikely for LGBTQs to face loneliness. It’s not like gay men are twice as likely to be depressed as straight men or 2.6 times as likely to live alone. If for some reason, you’re feeling disconnected or in need of friendship and community, don’t worry, the internet’s here for you. Here’s a list of online communities where everyone’s gay, too.

Slack icon - List of LGBTQ Slack communities to join

Slack Groups

Basically all of my career has been in tech, so I’m always on the hunt for LGBTQ networking groups. If you’re in tech, you know Slack is the tool du jour for the industry. Here are a couple of tech communities you can join on Slack.

LGBTQ in Tech

This community provides a space for LGBTQ people in technology to chat and support each other. Out of all the Slack groups I’m in, this one has the most channels definitely offering something for everyone. Aside from professional conversations, you’ll find channels devoted things like to beach goings, asmr, and Disney.

Out in Tech

This non-profit boasts over 30,000 members and 15 chapters across the country. They host networking and education events if you’re interested in learning more about a career in tech. Currently the group is hosting online events every night at 9pm ET/6pm PST. RSVP to join.

Techqueria*

This is one of my favorite communities, although it’s also not exclusively LGBTQ. This group for Latinxs in tech has been very active and inclusive in my experience. Their Slack community also has plenty of channels for almost every group and locale and does have an active LGBTQAI channel.

Chat icon - List of Online Forums for the LGBTQ community.

Online Forums

If you want to go into old school forums, these communities offer a place to discuss mental health and find support.

Trevorspace

I’ll be honest, it’s been a long time since I was a teenage queer, and while cultural attitudes have shifted, it’s still not always the easiest for young people to find their tribe. This community offers a space for young people between the ages of 13-24 to get advice and support, join groups based on their interests, and make new friends.

Empty Closets

This community offers a forum with ongoing discussions and chat rooms mostly for those in the process of coming out or working to build a solid support group of LGBTQ friends. The community originated in 2004 as a safe space for LGBTQ teens but now welcomes members of all ages.

Therapy Tribe

Research shows that LGBTQ individuals are at higher risk for depression, anxiety, and substance abuse. Whew. The LGBTribe offers peer-to-peer support groups for mental health issues and lets members participate in wellness challenges, access tools to help them on their journey, and connect with therapists.

Whether you’re suddenly seeking connection or you’ve always been social online, hopefully you’ll find yourself at home in one of these online communities. Already a member of an online community you love? Let me know! And if you see me in one of these groups, feel free to reach out!

March 20, 2020
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In Entertainment/ Shop

Books I’m Reading This Year

Gays & Confused is reader-supported. When you buy through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission.

Oh look, a new year’s resolution post on someone’s blog. How novel. Speaking of novels, one of my goals this year is to read more books. I’m not going to set myself up for failure by attempting to tackle a book a month. I’m guilty of taking a full year to finish one book, so 12 would be just too impossible. I’m kicking off the year with the goal of reading 5 books. And don’t worry, I’m definitely already having an anxiety attack about it. And no, I didn’t forget that this is a queer focused blog, each book is written by an LGBTQ or female author. 

Her Body and Other Parties

I’ve read so much about this book and when I heard one of the stories being retold in a podcast, I couldn’t resist. I’ve already begun reading it and can’t put it down.

In Cold Blood

Truman Capote is an author whose work I’ve always wanted to explore. Over the holidays, my brother was telling me how much he loved reading this book and couldn’t recommend it more. He gifted me a copy and I can’t wait to read it.

Before Night Falls

Whenever I’m browsing books online, I frequently see Reinaldo Arenas’ memoir recommended to me. Clearly the internet gods know something about me. When I stumbled upon it at a bookstore sale, I knew I had to take it. TBH, it’s been  sitting on my bookshelf for over a year now. 2020, we’ll finally make it happen.

Trick Mirror: Reflections on Self-Delusion

Earlier this summer, I read Jia Tolentino’s “Losing Religion And Finding Ecstasy In Houston” in the New Yorker and I absolutely loved it. Her writing is incredible and I immediately forwarded it on to many of my friends. I’m officially a Jia stan and can’t wait to read more of her stories in this book. Plus, she’s a fellow Texan.

Imperial Bedrooms

While I’ve never read a Bret Easton Ellis novel, I’ve been a fan of the film adaptations of his books. That WASPy east coast 80s culture is a whole mood I love to immerse myself in. A few months ago, I found it at a bookstore’s sidewalk sale and picked it up. As a sequel to Less Than Zero, it’s possible I’ll be lost and end up revising my list to include that title. 

Interested in knowing how well I stick to this goal? Follow me on Twitter or Instagram, and I’ll keep you posted throughout the year and I’d be more than happy to chat about them!

January 1, 2020
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In Life/ Shop

8 Ways To Spend Big At Small Queer Shops

The holiday season is upon us once again. Before you hit up Amazon for your one stop shopping, consider shopping smaller and queerer. I’m a huge believer in spending my money as wisely as possible to support the causes and communities I care most about. So here’s a list of places you can shop to support queer businesses.

Erdos + Ko

If you’re thinking of shopping a little bigger, Erdos + Ko Home offers beautiful home furnishings and decor at an approachable price point. With the belief that styling your home should be fun, John Erdos and Louis Koay offer pieces that they’d actually put in their own home. Erdos + Ko designs reflect their style using organic materials mixed with modern elements. You’ll also find curated vintage and one-of-a-kind pieces.

Double Scorpio VHS Cleaner

TBH, you can’t really kick off the holidays without digging out VHS copies of your favorite holiday films to relive your childhood memories. In an HD world, you’re  gonna need some VHS cleaner to make the most of the lo-fi vibes. Their holiday blend can also double as a festive room deodorizer. If you tossed the VCR decades ago, you’ll still appreciate their line of gear with edgy tees and cheeky jock straps.

Pansy Ass Ceramics

Have you ever wondered what family heirlooms would look like in a Tom of Finland theme? For the playful provocateur, Pansy Ass Ceramics offers plenty of erotic artwork and ceramic pieces to spice up your home decor. From penis shaped flower vases to BDSM themed Christmas ornaments, you’ll find tongue-in-cheek tchotchkes for your china cabinet.

Wildfang

Founded in 2013, Wildfang was created with the belief that women have the right to wear whatever they want. Their collections feature trendy graphic tees, the Empower Suit, durable workwear, and button ups for all with a portion of proceeds going to charity. In 2018, Wildfang raised over $400k for charities that support reproductive, immigrant, and women’s/human rights.

Otherwild

Otherwild is dedicated to showcasing goods made with care by individuals. You’ll find a huge variety of apparel, housewares, and more. Their line Otherwild General offers non-disposable, lo/zero-waste and upcycled product options like reuseable straws and refillable home, body, and bath products.

MINNA

Founded by a queer woman, MINNA offers a collection of beautiful, ethically made products created in collaboration with with master artisans in Central and South America. The patterns, colors, and textures found in their products are meant to be mixed, matched, and layered for today’s modern home.

Autostraddle

The online publication and community for queer women is not only a great place to find feminist think pieces but you can also find clever tees and caps. Additionally, buying merch from Autostraddle helps support the stories they feature on their site.

HOMOCO

No doubt you’ve discovered HOMOCO on your social feeds with their colorful collection of versatile tops and power bottoms. The queer swim brand makes their trunks out of recycled plastic while their camp shirts come from sustainably harvested Tencel. A portion of sales goes to ocean conservation and organizations that champion queer rights.

What queer businesses do you love shopping at? Share them with me!

November 29, 2019
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