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In Life

Staying Sane in an Insane World

Growing my brand is always something I’m trying to push to the top of my priorities but often gets knocked down by personal and professional life happenings. I’ve been unusually absent the last few months and I’d like to explain why. I recently packed up my life, my dog, and my boyfriend and relocated to New York. The move was preceded by an accident in the gym resulting in a shoulder dislocation. To say the least, it’s been an exciting and terrifying and stressful few months.

While I had prepared myself for a rough few months adjusting to my new life, that’s always much easier said than done. Finding myself in a new city without a solid social network or a job has been tough. The move was spurred by my own craving for more career growth and options and Richard’s enrollment in the MBA program at NYU. Spending my days networking and job hunting while making new friends has been emotionally and mentally exhausting. So, this World Mental Health Day, I’d like to share some of the ways I’m trying to work on my mental health every day.

Exercise

The biggest thing for me is physical exercise. In Austin, I worked out either at the gym or in a class several times a week. It was part of my weekly routine and social life. Dislocating my shoulder and having to take several weeks off from working out has been one of the biggest blows to my mental health and a huge stressor in adjusting to life in New York. In the last couple of weeks, I’ve finally been able to do more exercising without risking another injury but it’s definitely slow going. Getting back into this routine has been one of my major priorities.

Time with Tripp

Hopefully you’re now following my dog Tripp on Instagram. Apartment life definitely means much more time spent with the dog. Setting him free to roam the backyard isn’t an option anymore, so it’s important he gets his own play time. Most days start and end with a trip to the dog park for some off-leash fun. Tripp has also been my daily companion and I’m definitely thankful for our time together. I’ve always talked about making a web series about Tripp and now I finally have the time to get started. His Instagram account is the first step.

Words with friends

Whenever I’ve gone through difficult moments, I’ve always leaned on my friends. Which was easy in Austin where I had a core group of best friends and an wider net of social connections. In New York, I know very few people and have made it a priority to improve my relationships with the ones I do know. It’s been great reconnecting with people in the city and very fun to meet new people. Spending an hour having lunch with someone has done wonders in boosting my mood for days to come.

Disconnect after 6pm

The job hunt is a grind. With multiple versions of resumes, profiles on job search sites, the endless cover letters, it’s hard to know when to shut down for the day. New York seems to have endless opportunities and I could just keep at it for days. My first week on the hunt, I found myself sitting at my laptop sending off resumes until midnight. And even if I had put away the computer early, I found myself reloading my email on my phone hoping and praying for any response. Even at midnight. That’s completely unsustainable. These days, I’m trying to stick to a schedule of what I will accomplish every day of the week and how long I’ll be working. My goal is to be done by 6pm. If I haven’t met my quota for job applications, I’ll have to make it up the next day. I’ve always appreciated work/life balance and I’m trying to approach the job hunt like I would any job. And while I’m not totally disconnecting, I am disconnecting from “work” and letting go of email until the next day.

Discovery time

As I’ve started scheduling out my days, I’ve started dedicating time to discovery. This means exploring different parts of the city, a museum trip, or learning something new on Skillshare. I’ve also been a huge fan of CreativeMornings in Austin and started attending pretty much every event on the schedule in New York. Giving myself time to explore and nurture my curiosity has done wonders for my mental health.

I’m definitely not a mental health professional and I don’t have any answers on that front, but these are ways I’m coping with tough days. Hopefully they’re useful to you and of course, feel free to reach out if you’d like to hang in NY or have a virtual coffee.

In Shop/ Style

Slacktivism: How to Save the LGBT World by Shopping

In the current political climate, it’s more important than ever to participate in politics. But what if making protest signs and calling your congressman isn’t your thing? First of all, shame on you. But have no fear, you can still make your voice heard and contribute to causes that benefit the LGBTQ community. By shopping! It’s like the easiest thing to do and you get all new stuff!

Pink Triangle Project enamel pin – Matthew Dean Stewart

Aside from a rainbow flag, no symbol is more iconic of queerness than the pink triangle. And if you’re as obsessed with enamel pins as me, you’ll definitely want to adorn your favorite jacket/coat/bag/tank-top with one of these. Not only will you look very chic but $3.00 of every pin sold is donated to “The Trevor Project.” (Seen in photo above.)


Otherwild x Herstory Collection

A statement tee is perfect for putting queerness front and center. Inspired by a homemade t-shirt seen in a Larry Butler photo from a 1979 March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights, the image is still muy escandaloso today. As part of an Otherwild and Herstory collaboration, 10% of the sale proceeds go to the Lesbian Herstory Archives in Park Slope, Brooklyn. (Seen in photo above.)


Make America Gay Again hat – Human Rights Campaign

Take red caps (and America) back from the MAGA crowd with the HRC’s slogan hat. You’ll also become a member with your purchase.


100% Human tank – Everlane

Sometimes the best messages are the most obvious. Maybe Trump’s America just needs a reminder that yes, queer people are 100% human…at least the tank is cute AF. On top of that, Everlane will donate $5 to the HRC for every tank sold.


You’ve Got This enamel pin – Gay Pin Guys

Just accept your new obsession with enamel pins. It’s a thing. Remind yourself daily that you’re going to be a success, you’ve got this. Proceeds from this pin support the True Colors Fund, which works to end LGBTQ youth homelessness.


Food 4 Thot + GreenBoxShop T-shirts

Are you listening to the Food 4 Thot podcast as much as I am? You’re probably just as excited that they’ve released a line of t-shirts with GreenBoxShop that supports the Trans Law Center. The entire collection is full of wit and difficult to choose. Just remind our fellow Americans that this revolution with be cute as hell.


Rudy’s 1-2-3 Bundle

One cannot live on threads alone. Stay stylishly clean with Rudy’s 1-2-3 Bundle of shampoo, conditioner, and body wash. Every purchase supports homeless LGBTQ youth.


Shop for the cause, my friends.

In Entertainment/ Queer Music Club

Queer Music Club: Kim Petras

Kim Petras performing at SXSW

Who: Kim Petras

What’s it like: Sticky sweet bubblegum pop sometimes edgy but always in a youthful haze.

Standouts: Heart to Break, Hills, Hillside Boys

Lyrics for your Instagram captions:

I want all my clothes designer

I want someone else to buy them

I Don’t Want It At All

If you buy me diamonds

And you keep me smiling

Baby, I can be with you

I Don’t Want It At All

Hillside boys you call my name

You make my heart sparkle like champagne

Hillside Boys

All my exes want attention, I ain’t payin’ it

Hills

Where you’re most likely to hear it:  Slumber parties, Forever 21, gay beach parties

Why you should listen to it: Aside from being good fun, Kim is a trans artist who’s ready for mainstream pop listeners. If you’re on the wrong side of 25, you might feel a little old, but a few bops in and you’ll forget all about the age difference.

Here’s Kim Petras covering the Killers’ Human at SXSW 2018:

In Life

A Year of Giving Back: 12 LGBTQ Organizations to Support

Since we’re only a few weeks into the new year, you might still have some motivation to make some changes in yourself and in the world. I’m always trying to find ways to give back and contribute to my community and a friend turned me on to the idea of giving 1% for the 99%. Essentially, you pledge to donate 1% of your monthly income to 12 different nonprofits. This year, I’m challenging myself (and you) to donate to these 12 LGBTQ organizations making a difference in the community.


January

OutYouth – I’ll be starting out the year by supporting a local Austin organization that provides a variety of programs and services for LGBTQ youth like a drop-in center for youth to hang out at, free HIV testing, and facilitated discussions. Every year OutYouth puts on events like the Out Youth Prom, an evening that allows queer youth the chance to have their own high school prom.

February

GSA Network – Continuing with support for the children, GSAs provide a safe space for queer and straight students to socialize and support each other. GSA Network offers resources and support for those local GSA clubs. Additionally, they help develop youth into leaders to head their local clubs.

March

Trans United Fund – It’s time to end the patriarchy which is why I’m proud to support an organization that is committed to building the political power of the trans community. They do this by building political leadership in the trans community and aiding and endorsing candidates with pro-trans platforms.

April

Victory Institute – Representation and visibility is everything. The best way to ensure LGBT rights is to have LGBTQ politicians representing our needs. The Victory Institute is the only national organization that works to train and develop LGBTQ leaders to take on careers in politics, government, business, and advocacy.

May

ALLGO – This Texas organization provides cultural arts, wellness, and social justice programs for queer people of color. As a queer person of color myself, this is an organization that I’ve been interested in for a while and have been meaning to be more involved with.

June

Gay and Lesbian Medical Association – The world’s oldest association of LGBTQ healthcare professionals works for to build equality in healthcare.  

Their website also helps you find an LGBTQ friendly doctor, which you can appreciate if you’ve ever been treated by a doctor unfamiliar with our community.

July

The Ali Forney Center – A staggering 40% of homeless youth identify as LGBTQ. The AFC works to provide housing and support services for homeless queer youth.

August

AIDS Services of Austin – ASA provides services to people living with HIV and AIDS while also working to prevent the spread of HIV through education and outreach.

September

LGBT Asylum Support Task Force – While the US may slipping in its support for the LGBT community, some places in the world are far less welcoming. This organization supports LGBTQ people seeking asylum in the US. I had no idea that asylum seekers aren’t allowed to work until they are granted a work permit and social security number, which can take more than a year. The LGBT Asylum Task Force works to provide housing, food, basic necessities, and financial support during that time.

October

LAMBDA Legal – As the oldest and largest LGBTQ focused legal organization, Lambda Legal doesn’t charge their clients for legal representation or advocacy.

November

Sylvia Rivera Law Project – Named after the transgender activist, this organization works to guarantee that all people are free to self-determine their gender identity. They provide trainings for service providers and name and ID changing assistance.

December

SAGEElderly LGBTQ face higher poverty rates as well as significant health disparities than the general elderly population. Discrimination and social isolation can make things significant worse. Through their network of affiliates in SAGENet, SAGE works to improve financial security, reduce isolation, and enhance the quality of life for LGBTQ elders.


Hopefully this list inspires you to find and support a cause you’re passionate about. You never know, you might just find a dance party for that cause. If there are any LGBTQ organizations you love that I’ve left off the list, let me know!

In Entertainment/ Queer Music Club

Queer Music Club: TWINKIDS

Who: TWINKIDS – A queerpop duo from LA.

Album: Boys Love

What’s it like: The duo’s debut EP features pop songs sticky with synths and vulnerable lyrics revealing a longing to be loved.

Standouts: Overdressed, Body Wonder, Love Story Wa Totsuzenni

Lyrics for your Instagram captions:

“Fell in love and it comes with a price
All your loving, it distracts me”

– Overdressed

“You leave me with a smile on your face
You’re dressed up for me
Always talking me to stay”
– Overdressed

“Feeling winter in my summer skin”

– Dreamer

Where you’re most likely to hear it: NPR, on the soundtrack of an art house film, Urban Outfitters

Why you should listen to it: It’s pure and poetic pop music with a queer sensibility. While the EP’s themes reflect a coming-of-age moment, everyone can surely connect with the reflections on queer romance from longing to lust.