Back in February, my boyfriend and I took our very first trip together. It’s an exciting milestone in a new relationship. Like a trip to IKEA, if you survive a vacation together it can strengthen your bond. Here are my tips to help you stay in love.
Split up the planning process
Don’t be a dictator, let the boyfriend have a say in your plans. Unless he’s the organized one, in which case be a doll and help out. Planning a trip is stressful enough without worrying if your partner will enjoy it as well.
Compromise your itinerary
You’re excited about the trip and the places you’ll go, but remember that your partner is, too. In fact, he might be jazzed for entirely different reasons than you. While you’re still in the planning phase, you should each make a list of places you want to go and then compare the two. Make sure your final itinerary is pretty even between both your picks.
Establish some boundaries
Some people think it’s a good idea to schedule some alone time on trips. I’m definitely not one of those people but I do think it’s a good idea to establish some ground rules on privacy. This all depends on your comfort level of course. No matter the relationship, I like to keep a nice level of secrecy when it comes to my bathroom time. Whether it’s grooming, showering, or doing your business, work something out so you can have comfortable privacy while staying on schedule.
Schedule date time
Sure, the entire vacation is like one long date but with so much activity, it’s easy to skip the romance. Schedule at least one dinner at a nice restaurant and drinks at a fancy cocktail bar. It’s the perfect time to check in on each other and a reminder to be grateful for the experience you’re sharing.
Split up responsibilities
Along with splitting up the planning of the vacation, share the responsibilities. Don’t let your partner be solely responsible for navigating a new city, you’ll be on the fastest route to resentment. Even if he’s more comfortable taking the reins, offer to help out. Alternatively, you can each manage a task you’re better at. In Mexico City, I was able to make use of my fluency in Spanish to handle talking with servers and Uber drivers. My boyfriend handled the task of mapping out our journeys.
Keep track of expenses
Agree on how you’ll be splitting up costs. It may not be easy for both partners to cover half of all the expenses, so come up with something that feels fair to both of you.
Traveling with your best friend can be an amazing experience for your friendship. You’ll take in new sights and cultures together that will strengthen your bond for a lifetime. Or at least it should. If the pressures of travel don’t destroy you. Here are some ways to ensure you and your friendship survive.
Respect boundaries
If the two of you are as thick as thieves this might not be an issue. If you’ve never spent this much time together, you’ll probably need to set some boundaries. Let your bestie know about your quiet hours, grooming habits, and anything else that could cause tensions. Your roommates or boyfriends have probably alerted you to these things along the way.
Be a good wingman
So you head out to a gay bar for the night and it’s possible either one of you could meet someone. Make sure you’re both cool with seeing where the night takes you. Your BFF may be expecting to bond over beverages while you’re set on chatting up a dandy daddy. If you’re going home with someone, make sure not to abandon your pal completely. If he’s the one getting lucky, don’t be a spoilsport. In any case, be supportive of each other and stay safe. Let the each other know where you’ll be. Maybe even share your location. Technology these days.
Have plenty of heart to hearts
Travel is a great bonding experience and you’ll spend plenty of time wandering new streets together. Take advantage of this and get to know each other better. Be vulnerable and revealing, it’ll make your friendship stronger. Once you’re at home and in your own routines, you’ll hardly have the opportunity to share the same kinds of moments.
Take turns with photo duty
I’m super guilty of this. With a background in filmmaking, I’m uncomfortable with relinquishing the role of documentarian, which often leaves me with memories of my travel companion enjoying himself. And no visual reminders that I enjoyed a seaside afternoon as well. If you’re as particular as me, take a reference photo and then ask your friend to imitate it for you.
Share responsibilities
Be equal partners along the journey. Even if your bestie is better at planning, offer to help out or take on something he’s weaker at. Make sure you’re clear on expenses and split costs equitably.
Have patience
You’re bound to get on each other’s last nerve, especially when travel plans go wrong. Be patient, this is your best friend and you’d kill for them. Remember that. Plus, all the feelings are probably mutual. Let it go and remember to have fun.
Check out some memories from my previous BFF vacays in Spain and the Pacific Northwest. It’s okay to get the feels.
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Mexico City has always held a special allure to me, I’ve dreamed of visiting ever since I was a kid, seeing it as the backdrop of so many telenovelas I watched with my family. It seemed so glamorous and exciting. Lucky for me, CDMX is the perfect weekend trip. So close at a quick 90 minute flight from Austin and affordable, a 3 night trip won’t make too much of a dent in your wallet. From its bustling streets to its rich cultural tapestry, Mexico City is an exciting mix of glam and grit. Here’s everything you need to know to have a gay old time.
Where to Stay
All the cool kids are staying in La Condesa, but during my visits I’ve also stayed in Roma Norte, Roma Sur, and Hipódromo. All offer easy access to trendy restaurants, bars, and boutiques as well as quick trips to many of the city’s iconic sites and museums.
Search for LGBTQ+ rentals in Mexico City on misterb&b.
Where to Eat
Veguisima – During one of my visits to the city, I stumbled upon this tiny spot and was pleasantly surprised. I was halfway through my tostada before I realized everything on the menu was vegan.
Lalo – If you’ve done any research, Lalo is already on your list of restaurants. It’s super trendy and full of Americans. Their Instagram-worthy mural doesn’t hurt either. Expect a wait since most seating is at a long communal table or small bistro tables along the wall.
Azul Historico – This restaurant is all outdoor in a cool courtyard surrounded by shops. The menu features cuisine from Veracruz and is the perfect lunch spot if you’re out in the downtown area.
Huset – This trendy spot in Roma serves up creative and tasty takes on rustic Mexican fare. The dining room is a beautiful enclosed patio with gravel flooring and long wooden tables with benches that offers the illusion of being in the Mexican countryside.
Fonda Margarita – One of my absolute favorite breakfasts is at this unassuming cafe. Many menu items can sell out, so be prepared to arrive very early to avoid a line. I highly recommend the chicharrón en salsa verde and the black beans with scrambled eggs.
Bravo Loncheria – I’ve had plenty of amazing meals in Mexico but this was by far my favorite. When my chorizo chicken sandwich arrived, I was confused about how to eat it without utensils. It was so messy with chorizo spilling out. The server pointed to a box of plastic gloves on the table. It made for an adventurous meal. I also fell in love with the restaurant’s soundtrack of classic American hits covered in Spanish.
Where to Drink
Hanky Panky Bar – Hanky Panky Bar is definitely one of the most incredible experiences I’ve ever had. This is a true speakeasy with a secret location. To get in, make a reservation by messaging the bar on Facebook. They’ll give you some general location information and it’s up to you to find the exact spot. #NoSpoilers but we exited the bar through a fridge.
La Nuclear – This is a boisterous dive bar that serves pulque. Pulque is a creamy alcoholic drink made from the maguey plant and comes in a few different flavors. We tried piñon and piña colada. Getting in might be a squeeze, but you should definitely stop in to try one.
Pulqueria los Insurgentes – Another spot for pulque that is always on my list when I arrive in la ciudad. This multilevel dive bar has several rooms to fit your vibe, a dance floor on the first level, more intimate seating options on the other levels, and a cozy terrace.
Cabaretito Fusion – While there are plenty of gay bars in Mexico City, this cumbia spot has a special place in my heart. I grew up dancing cumbia and seeing the joy of gay couples on the dance floor is a dream to me. There are two main rooms here, the smaller front room plays cumbia while the larger backroom plays top 40 hits. If you want to fit in, most people are drinking 40s of Indio or micheladas in a large styrofoam cup dressed with dripping chamoy. Entrance is 70 pesos and comes with one beer ticket.
Tom’s Leather Bar – I hope it’s no secret that I love goth. Tom’s was described on many blogs as actually a gay goth bar and not your typical leather bar. You can’t even imagine how much this thrilled me. I built a whole night of bar hopping around getting to Tom’s at what I estimated would be the busiest. Little did I know, it’s just a leather bar. Like really a leather bar. About 75% of the space is dark room. Entry is 185 pesos and comes with 2 drink tickets.
Kinky Bar – Before you call it a night, you’ll want to hit up one last dance club. Kinky Bar is definitely more like your typical gay bar and probably my favorite. There are two floors with the first being split between karaoke rooms and a dance floor with more traditional Mexican music. The second floor plays standard dance music and top 40 hits. Oh, and expect some of the most beautiful bartenders you’ve ever seen. Entry is 60 pesos but sadly comes with no drinks.
What to See
Historical Sites – El Palacio Nacional, Templo Mayor, Zocalo, Catedral Metropolitana – These sites are all essentially on the same block. I highly recommend Templo Mayor and the palace. Get there as early as you can. During our visit, we arrived before noon and had no problem getting in but leaving was like being in a herd of cattle.
Xochimilco Gondolas – Exploring the floating gardens of Xochimilco on a colorful gondola makes for an exciting afternoon. Grab a case of cerveza and snacks for a fun afternoon cruising the canals. Be prepared to negotiate for your boat’s price. While not very expensive, I later discovered that the price our group paid per person was the price others paid for the entire boat.
Teotihuacan – If your schedule allows, take a nice day trip to climb some pyramids. You can take the subway to the Autobuses del Norte station and be there in about an hour. It’s pretty fun and you can see all of the pyramids plus the museum in about 3 hours. For an even more impressive experience, arrive for an early morning visit to see hot air balloons floating overhead.
Museo Jumex – There are so many museums in Mexico City that it’s impossible to see them all in one weekend. We stopped into the Jumex collection because it’s slightly on the smaller side and was easy to squeeze into our day.
Biblioteca Vasconcelos – This library is one of the most Instagrammable places I’ve ever been. We popped in for a quick walk around and took a few photos but you might like to wander upstairs and read for a bit.
Chapultepec Castle – In the city’s Chapultepec Park, you’ll find the gorgeous Chapultepec Castle, one of North America’s only royal palaces that served as a monarch’s residence. Formerly the home of Emperor Maximilian I of Mexico, the castle became the residence of the president until 1934, eventually becoming a museum in 1939. Prepare for plenty of uphill walking and incredible views of the city.
Museo Frida Kahlo – Frida’s life and work has always been so inspiring to me and visiting la casa azul is truly an immersive experience. Be sure to book your tickets in advance, while you may be able to purchase tickets in person, they’re typically sold out.
I’m always reluctant to bid adiós to Mexico City but every trip offers even more planning ideas for my next escape. From the trendy spots to historic sights, this city has captured my heart in so many ways. Let me know what’s on your itinerary for CDMX!
These days it seems all I do is travel. Most trips involve carefully curated itineraries and cramming all the sights, food, and adventure into a few days.
Every now and then I’m more than pleased to take an actually relaxing trip. Earlier this year, my friends and I rented a house in Marfa, TX (one of my absolute favorite spots) to unwind. We roamed the desert, played board games, and built a fort in our living room. It was a great time to reconnect and enjoy each other’s company. Can’t wait for the next one.
While we have made strides in achieving equality, there is a segment of the LGBTQ community that remains severely disadvantaged. We must stay active and not become complacent in our victories.
“Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.”As members of the LGBTQ community, it’s important for us to stand up for the vulnerable. In this case, we need to speak up for the rights of trans youth.
In the Texas legislature, the Republican majority has set its sights on passing a bathroom bill similar to the one in North Carolina.
A raging queer dance party was thrown at the governor’s mansion to protest this discriminatory legislation. The idea of dancing for a cause may seem ridiculous, but visibility is extremely important. Essentially, the purpose behind these bills is to discourage trans people from being a part of public life. If you can’t be guaranteed access to basic facilities, you’re less likely to enter public spaces. No one’s going back in the closet, y’all.
Not only that, but in times like these we need moments of levity to fuel the resistance.
The Queer Dance Freakout has been one of my favorite protest moments so far. For a night, we came together as a community with our allies to have a good time and show our detractors that we exist and we won’t be ignored.
If you’re a Texan, be sure to contact your state representative and tell them to Flush the Bill. Even if you’re not a Texan, contact your representatives and tell them you support trans rights.
