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In Entertainment

Motherhood, Secrets, and Spanish History: Why Parallel Mothers Matters

Pedro Almodóvar is one of my all-time favorite directors, a true master of blending camp, melodrama, and big emotions. He’s one of the most celebrated LGBTQ+ directors working today and I’ve always wanted to challenge myself to watch his entire filmography. What I love about his films are the colors, the strange-yet-normal situations, and the way campy melodrama somehow makes serious topics hit even harder.


Parallel Mothers (2021)

Directed by: Pedro Almodóvar

Starring: Penélope Cruz, Milena Smit 

Summary: Two women give birth on the same day, and their lives get tangled thanks to a hospital mix-up. At the same time, one of them is investigating unmarked graves of her townspeople from the Spanish Civil War.

The tea: This film isn’t just about melodrama or shocking plot twists, it’s about history, memory, motherhood, and how personal trauma echoes political trauma.

Where to stream: YouTube, Prime Video, Philo, Apple TV


I finally caught Parallel Mothers on a plane, not exactly a Criterion theater setup, but it was worth it. The film balances melodrama, desire, and political history in classic Almodóvar style, offering both campy fun and profound emotional resonance.

The Story (Spoilers Ahead)

We open with Janis (Penélope Cruz), a photographer trying to locate unmarked graves from the Spanish Civil War. Heavy and political, yes but then suddenly, we’re in a maternity ward. We meet Ana (Milena Smit), Janis’s hospital roommate, whose backstory is filled with family tension and dark circumstances. All delivered in that Almodóvar way where shocking news drops like casual gossip.

Their intertwined fates serve as both intimate melodrama and social allegory. We eventually learn their children were swapped in a hospital mix-up, confirmed by DNA, and the eventual revelation that Janis’s daughter is actually Ana’s. Almodóvar uses these plot twists not merely for shock value, but to explore questions of trust, attachment, and resilience.

 Cruz is perfection as Janis, graceful, complicated, and quietly devastating. Milena Smit’s Ana transforms before our eyes, from dependent and uncertain to resilient and active. Their chemistry is unexpected and messy, a testament to Almodóvar’s gift as an LGBTQ+ director who knows how to navigate intimacy and identity with nuance.

History, Trauma, and the Bigger Picture

What makes Parallel Mothers exceptional is how the personal drama mirrors Spain’s history. Janis’s work exhuming unmarked graves serves as a powerful visual and thematic metaphor: personal and political histories, hidden and suppressed, eventually demand recognition. The film’s emotional arcs mirror Spain’s reckoning with the Civil War, and Eduardo Galeano’s quotation: “No history is mute. No matter how much they burn it, break it, and lie about it, human history refuses to shut its mouth,” feels almost built into the narrative structure itself.

The juxtaposition of intimate maternal drama and public historical memory reinforces Almodóvar’s ongoing fascination with the interplay between desire, secrecy, and societal pressure. 

Final Thoughts

Parallel Mothers is messy, colorful, emotional, and completely unmissable. This film stands out as a landmark LGBTQ+ film about women, motherhood, and history.

Have you seen Parallel Mothers? How do you think Almodóvar uses melodrama to reflect historical and personal trauma? Which other LGBTQ+ films do you think pull this off as brilliantly? Let’s chat about it on Threads or BlueSky!

Film stills and promotional images are the property of their respective copyright holders. Used here under fair use for commentary and review. All opinions and takes are my own.

In Life

The Ultimate Gay NYC List to Close Out the Summer

Somehow, we’ve blinked and summer’s already slipping through our fingers, but it’s not over yet. There’s still plenty of gay magic to be had, and I’m determined to squeeze every last drop out of it. These final weeks can feel like a blur of beach trips, rooftop hangs, and “we’ll do it next weekend” plans… until suddenly it’s fall. So I’ve rounded up the best LGBTQ+ events happening in New York City before summer takes her final bow.

From sweaty dance parties to fantastic film screenings, here’s your end-of-summer guide to celebrate, connect, and send off the season in style.


🪩 Summer Soirees & Discos

For the nights you want to sweat it out on the dance floor, flirt under neon lights, and do it all for the plot.

17th Annual Madonna Worship Night

  • Friday • August 15, 2025 • 10pm
  • 3 Dollar Bill

Kate Bush: The Dreaming (full album spin)

  • Friday • August 15, 2025 • 7:30pm
  • C’mon Everybody

Celebration: A Madonna Party

  • Saturday • August 16, 2025 • 10:30pm
  • C’mon Everybody

PLANET YES: GAGA NIGHT w/ Dirtyfinger

  • Thursday • August 21, 2025 • 10pm
  • House of Yes

💖 Community Hangs & Low-Key Fun

From dance lessons to drag bingo, not every night has to be a rager. Find connection, creativity, and time together.

Queer Ride Club Summer Series Kickoff

  • Friday • June 27 – Friday September 26, 2025 • 6:30pm
  • Trek Bicycle Forest Hills

The LGBT+ Male Figurative Drawing Group

  • Saturday • August 16, 2025 • 10:30am-1:30pm
  • The LGBT Center • 208 W. 13th St, NY, NY 10011

Queer Tango Lessons

  • Saturday • August 16, 2025 • 4:30pm-7:30pm
  • The LGBT Center • 208 W. 13th St, NY, NY 10011

🎬 Outdoor Films & Art Exhibits

Dreamy summer nights under the stars or creative inspiration inside air-conditioned galleries to feed your inner cinephile and art lover.

REVERB | Queercore – A Queer History Experience

  • Thursday • August 14, 2025 • 7-10pm
  • Culture Lab LIC • 5-25 46th Ave, Queens, NY 11101⁠

Movies in the Square: 13 Going on 30

  • Thursday • August 14, 2025 • 6:30pm
  • Union Square Park – North Plaza

Continuum: A Celebration of Ballroom

  • Saturday • August 16, 2025 • 4-9pm
  • Leslie-Lohman Museum of Art

Paramount+ Movie Nights

Fort Greene Park

  • Clueless • Thursday • August 14, 2025
  • Dog Day Afternoon • August 21, 2025

Julien Ceccaldi – Adult Theater

  • March 27–August 25, 2025
  • MoMA PS1

Pier I Picture Show: Bend It Like Beckham

  • August 20, 2025 • 8:30pm
  • Riverside Park South, Pier I @ 70th St.

Summer’s not over yet, babes and there’s still plenty of time to pack your calendar with queer joy. Whether you’re chasing one last rooftop sunset, hitting the dance floor, or keeping it low-key with friends, make the most of these final golden weeks. What’s on your gay end-of-summer agenda?

In Entertainment/ Queer Book Club

Resistance and Resilience in an Inspiring LGBTQ Memoir

This post contains affiliate links. If you use these links to make a purchase, I may earn a commission at no additional cost to you.

Okay, confession time. I started reading Reinaldo Arenas’ Before Night Falls (affiliate link) months and months ago and promised myself that I’d post about it on socials as my own Queer Book Club. Needless to say, I’m a very slow reader and it took me quite a while to get this book club session started. This memoir has been on my reading list for ages and I’m so glad I read it. Not only did I find it beautifully written but also offers an unflinching, intimate look at gay life under an authoritarian regime.

If you’re a fan of inspiring LGBTQ memoirs that explore resilience, resistance, and identity, you absolutely must pick up this book.

Why Before Night Falls Is One of the Most Inspiring LGBTQ Memoirs

The first 100 pages cover Arenas’ youth in rural Cuba and honestly, it was pretty jarring, and at times a little uncomfortable. I’m not sure what I came to this book expecting, but what I found was a deeply intimate and sometimes brutal account of life under an authoritarian regime. 

Queer Identity, Humor, and Resistance in Cuba

Throughout the book, it was depressing to see how frequently and casually homosexual acts occured among men who still cling to toxic homophobia. As Arenas writes:

“I realized that being called a ‘f****t’ in Cuba was one of the worst disasters that could ever happen to anyone.”

And at the same time, there’s also some humor and joy in the story. I was really amused by The Four Categories of Gays excerpt. Despite everything, Arenas captures moments of queer connection, pleasure, and resistance.

Reading about a country slipping into dictatorship, about how people cope, resist, and break, is deeply unsettling right now. The repression Arenas lived through echoes in so many corners of today’s world. It may not be comforting, but I think it’s really important in this moment to pay attention to stories and experiences like this.

Life in Prison, Surveillance, and Surreal Humor

In the second half of the book, Arenas is imprisoned and then spends several years struggling to survive in a surveillance state that has marked him as a threat to the party. And yet even these chapters are laced with surreal humor. 

There’s a scene where his neighbor Blanca gathers the community in their building to reveal that she can no longer perform sex work as her breasts have shriveled. To provide her some relief, Arenas and his neighbors dig a hole through a closet to give Blanca a window and discover an abandoned convent filled with trinkets to sell. The whole situation seems surreal and absurd.

And then there’s the trickster character of Hiram Prado, a former friend turned informant who pops up throughout the second half as an almost cartoonish menace. His presence provides some comic relief even though his activities were a very serious threat. 

The Harsh Reality of Exile for Queer Writers

One of the most sobering elements of Before Night Falls is that Arenas doesn’t find true freedom in the U.S. or Europe. After successfully fleeing communist Cuba, he goes on to face homophobia, alienation, and exploitation in exile. He received appalling treatment by his publishers. Leftists romanticize the regime he fled. Cuban exiles and activists dismiss him. He’s seen as too angry, too queer, too inconvenient.

“…although both give you a kick in the ass, in the communist system you have to applaud, while in the capitalist system you can scream. And I came here to scream.”

This tension between survival and expression is what makes Before Night Falls one of the most inspiring LGBTQ memoirs you’ll ever read, even in its bleakest moments.

A Defiant Ending That Redefines Courage

The memoir ends not with triumph, but with resistance. There’s no hopeful next chapter. Just Arenas, refusing to be polite or palatable. Writing through surveillance. Through illness. Through exile. Until the very end.

Before Night Falls isn’t an easy read and it’s not really a feel-good summer book. But it’s essential LGBTQ+ literature, and one of those rare inspiring LGBTQ memoirs that reminds us of the power of defiance and authenticity. It’s a testament to living and existing against all odds.

If you’ve read it, I’d love to know:

📖 What stuck with you?

📖 Did anything surprise you?

📖 How did you sit with the ending?

And if you haven’t picked it up yet, I hope this post inspires you to grab a copy. (affiliate link)

Okay, confession: I started Before Night Falls by Reinaldo Arenas months ago and told myself I’d post as I went along. That…didn’t happen. But now that I’m almost done, let’s talk about it!Kicking off this very unofficial #QueerBookClub

Gays & Confused (@gaysandconfused.bsky.social) 2025-07-09T02:30:12.383Z
In Shop

The LGBTQ+ Pet Brands Every Gay Dog Dad Should Know

This post contains affiliate links. If you use these links to make a purchase, I may earn a commission at no additional cost to you.

Growing up in a pet household, I can barely remember a time where I wasn’t accompanied by a dog, cat, or even an armadillo (that’s a story for another day). Animals, especially dogs, have always been part of my family, and I believe they should be well cared for and very stylish.

I spent years with my Italian Greyhound, Tripp, which is the number one dog breed for gay men (I will not be taking questions), and now I’m looking forward to many adventures with my new pup Rider. To make sure he lives a happy and healthy life, I’m always on the hunt for products that are safe, high-quality, and built to last. And since I love shopping small and queer-owned whenever possible, here’s a roundup of LGBTQ+ owned pet brands that offer everything from chic collars to tasty treats.


Timberdog (affiliate link)

Founder Leena Chitnis loved adventuring with her pup, Kashi, but struggled to find travel gear for their outings. That’s when RuffRest (affiliate link) was born. It’s a clever all-in-one dog bed, luggage, and travel system with 14 must-have features. Through their nonprofit, Trees & Trails, Timberdog is carbon negative, planting two trees for every bed sold.


Fable Pets

Siblings Sophie Bakalar and Jeremy Canade started Fable Pets to solve a common NYC pet parent problem: limited apartment space. Their signature crate doubles as chic furniture, and all their products are designed with safety in mind. Because standard pet safety regulations do not exist, they created their own and rigorously test every product.


Cleo & Hooman

When Louie Marte struggled to find the right products for his dog Cleo’s skin sensitivities, he and co-founder Michael McLafferty set out to fill the gap with eco-friendly products to meet your pet’s wellness needs. Their collection of pet care essentials like hydrating creams, cleansers, and wipes are formulated by vets and dermatologists.


Lunge

Inspired by New York’s stylish dog-walking scene, Nicholas Schröder launched Lunge, a luxury pet brand offering apparel and jewelry for dogs. Their buttery-soft Napa leather leashes and collars are crafted in Brazil, reinforced for durability, and guaranteed to turn a sidewalk stroll into a runway moment.


Yummers

Even the pickiest pets cannot resist Yummers, a line of meal toppers and freeze-dried food created by Queer Eye stars Jonathan Van Ness and Antoni Porowski. Made with locally sourced ingredients and packed with nutrients, these meals keep pets healthy and happy with every bite.


Supporting queer pet brands is an easy way to celebrate our community while giving your pets the best. Did I miss any of your favorite LGBTQ+ owned pet brands? Let me know!

If you’re thinking about adopting a pet, you can also check out my guide to dog breeds for gay men to find your perfect companion.

In Queer Music Club

Guitarricadelafuente’s Spanish Leather Feels Like a Summer Love Letter

This post contains affiliate links. If you use these links to make a purchase, I may earn a commission at no additional cost to you.

TBH, while I listen to a lot of Spanish language music, I only discovered Guitarricadelafuente from his guest spot on Troye Sivan’s “In My Room.” I immediately had to hear more and really enjoyed discovering his last album, La Cantera. I love the minimalist guitar driven pop sound on his latest album, Spanish Leather (affiliate link). Guitarricadelafuente is quickly becoming one of my favorite emerging LGBTQ+ artists, bringing a soft, poetic kind of storytelling to the world. From heartache to heatwaves, from hookups to hope, he takes us on a journey. Let’s get into it.

@gaysandconfused

I’ve been swooning over Spanish Leather by @guitarricadlf all summer long and I needed to yap about it. #QueerMusicClub

♬ original sound – Gays and Confused

BABIECA!

Kicks off quiet and shy—like a crush—and builds to a beat-pounding, chant-heavy climax. The stolen glances, the giddy moments on the dance floor, and the strength to risk it all after a few drinks.

Futuros amantes

On this more somber sounding track, Guitarrica ruminates on a casual hookup in a trendy hotel. Something that’s happened before and always with the promise of something deeper next time.

Full time papi

Another song that builds up slowly and reaches a peak with a chanting male chorus. Another tale of longing and an unrequited love. I love the repetition of the chorus and it’s been stuck in my head the last few weeks.

Puerta del Sol

A beautifully minimal track about a fading situationship. What I think works so well is how somber the song gets as he reflects on the ways their romance isn’t working contrasting with harder edgier beats as he describes their bodies colliding in physical trysts. Emotional whiplash in the best way.

Pipe dream

My favorite track on the album so far. I love the way the song begins with light and carefree guitar strumming while he sings about wanting more from a casual relationship and grows to a dancing beat while he asks his lover if he’d like to wake up from this pipe dream and have something more.

Poses

I love the starts and stops on this album, the building from minimal to more filled out instrumentation. So far, we’ve been hearing about unrequited love and casual hookups, to me this song is a love letter to himself. A reminder of his one life to live and the dreams he’s making true. Through it all, still standing in the same poses.

Los chicos del club

Minimal and acoustic guitar driven, Guitarrica sings of hazy Saturdays and chasing good times, eventually building to a sense of anguish with gritty wailing vocals at the end.

Port Pelegrí

One of my other favorite songs on the album that feels light and fun with rhythmic chanting and seductive lyrics. Here he entices a crush to escape the heat of the city and head to the Spanish countryside or some frolicking on the beach, transitioning from acoustic sounds to electronic pop as he asks his crush to fall in love.

Mataleón

Minimal and melodic, with lots of bullfighter imagery, he delivers some emotional vocals on this track. His lover as a bullfighter, Guitarrica as the bull surrendering. It also reads like a metaphor for vulnerability in his music. In both ways, he promises to be big on the peninsula.

Quién teme a la máquina?

One of the shortest songs on the album is beautifully minimal with Guitarrica delivering delicate falsetto vocals. This album has been a whole hazy Spanish summer vibe and with this track, we’re reaching the end. “Y se nos pira tan rápido”

Sonata nº 9 de los heavies de Gran Vía

I really love the vibe and aesthetic of this album, the imagery of the lyrics, even the music videos that have been released so far, all really drive a narrative that feels cinematic. And this brief instrumental track feels like the closing credits are starting to roll.

Tramuntana

On this final track, I think Guitarrica delivers his best vocal performance with a light vibrato. A more polished track that includes strings and piano, the season has changed both literally and metaphorically. And fitting that the music video takes place in a much colder season in New York City. It’s a beautiful finish to this album.

The more I’ve listened to this album, the more I really appreciate the vibe and aesthetic Guitarrica has put together here. It’s continued to grow on me and I hope you’re holding space in your playlists for LGBTQ+ musicians like Guitarricadelafuente. Spanish Leather is tender, sexy, vulnerable, and unapologetically queer. Now I need the vinyl and US tour dates. 

Shop Guitarricadelafuente’s Spanish Leather at CDandLP.com (affiliate link).

What about you? What’s your favorite track? Which lyric broke you in the best way? Join the conversation on Threads, BlueSky, or wherever the gays are screaming about new music.